People Like Me

This is exactly the kind of poem I try not to write, because my English teacher told me not to, which sentiment I generally agree with. But this was on my mind, and chaotically experimental verse mostly woven from abstractions and lacking structure is how it wanted to come out. So…here we are! It’s called

 

People Like Me

people like me are amazing
sometimes
I wish I was one of them
sometimes

they are bold and adventurous
I think
it’s true that people believe that I am
bold
and adventurous
I think
I know
that’s how they see me
I could be
wrong

but I’m not
wrong

I watch
sometimes I watch
this person, who is dynamic, witty
and absolutely full of
life
exudes from him like breath that’s
rich with energy so that others can breathe
it in
and they fill with life, too

I watch this person, I see other
people watching him, watching
me
too, I think, because I want
the life
he has, when other people are watching him

watching him dance

I hate to dance
it makes me feel self
conscious
of the effect I have on people
it makes me look
sometimes
amazing, and I wonder
who is this amazing person
and I wonder
that I know
other people wonder, too

because he is amazing
and I see him
dancing
is the hardest thing in the world for me
when I’m me, not the person
everyone else is watching
me
right now

watching him dance
with words

I live in verse and digital pen
but I
he
dances
dance
on the stage, and looking down
from the audience up at
me
too, I think, I want to be on the stage like
everything thinks
I already am

people like me are amazing
they captivate the room
I watch them
sometimes
I want to be one of them because
I’m not
not really

I’m scared and timid and utterly, endlessly limited
by
the way this isn’t occasional
it’s who I am, all the time
even if it’s not the character
on the stage

people like me are amazing
and it’s both ego
and truth
to say that people envy them
their energy

others think I’m one of them,
but I’m not
it’s just the stage
the people like me
the real ones
I envy them just like everyone else
because they aren’t scared
and I only look
like I’m not

but it does make me wonder
sometimes
I wonder if all of the people like me
who look like me
are like me
so scared of every little thing that is easy for probably every other person why can’t I just do this I’m so useless at everything because of my deficiencies and I’m so
envious of the person on stage
who isn’t them, but wears their face
and they wish
sometimes
that they were one of them
too