Splashform

wave_hayama

37, day thirty four

The Daily Post has a particularly interesting prompt this week. There are several options–if you want to read the whole prompt, which is quite interesting, follow the link. But the one I chose is as follows.

  • Split perspectives. For the fabulous flash fiction experts, let’s see all the angles of your story. Write a couple of paragraphs from one vantage point, and then turn the tables — and walk in the shoes of another character. Tell us the same story from their view.

What I ended up doing with it is slightly strange, but there you are. Here it is!

Alan
12:42 PM

Alan watched in alarm as the woman slipped off the second floor balcony and crashed into the fountain below. He bolted to his feet and raced towards her. As he ran, the splash of her body the formed a ripple in the water. No, not a ripple. He saw it clearly, in his eye and in his mind, as it cascaded outwards, and his sandaled feet smacked against the tile floor. It was a wave.

He was six years old, surrounded by people floating in water. His mother was next to him, smiling as Alan’s father lifted his little brother Marcus up into the air. Alan giggled as the artificial waves of the tidal pool lifted him up, and up, and up, and then back down. All of a sudden the waves stopped. An alarm blared and cut through the hum of ambient conversation. Everyone in the pool went silent. Alan bit his finger in tension.

At the far end of the pool there was a loud rumbling noise. Everyone gasped at once, as a huge wave burst forth. Alan’s mother shrieked and rushed towards him.

“Get the children!” she cried out. “Somebody save the children!”

The wave crashed into them. They bobbed up, and up, and up, and back down. All around Alan, people burst into laughter.

“Oh man,” said the voice of a lifeguard sitting on a high chair nearby, “I love watching first timers freak out over the nine footers. Gets me very time.”

Alan bent down into the fountain. He grasped the woman’s torso, and pulled her up out of the water.

Alan
12:42 PM

Alan watched in panic as the woman slipped off the second floor balcony and crashed into the fountain below. For a moment, he cringed in shock. Then he took a deep breath, stood up, and marched steadily towards her. As he walked, the splash of her body formed a ripple in the water. No, not a ripple. He saw it clearly, in his eye and in his mind, as it cascaded outwards, and his sandaled feet smacked against the tile floor. It was a wave.

He was six years old, and surrounded by people floating in water. His father was next to him, smiling as Alan’s mother lifted his little brother Marcus up into the air. Alan giggled as the artificial waves of the tidal pool lifted him up, and up, and up, and then back down. All of a sudden the waves stopped. An alarm blared and cut through the hum of ambient conversation. Everyone in the pool went silent. Alan bit his finger in tension.

At the far end of the pool there was a loud rumbling noise. Everyone gasped, as a huge wave burst forth. Alan’s mother shrieked and rushed towards him.

“Get the children!” she cried out. “Somebody save the children!”

The wave crashed into them. They bobbed up, and up, and up, and back down. All around Alan, people burst into laughter.

“Where’s Marcus?” asked his mother in panic. “I had him in my arms, and then…”

“Oh man,” said the voice of a lifeguard sitting on a high chair nearby, “I love watching first timers freak out over the… oh my god is that…?” He dove into the pool.

Alan bent down into the fountain. He grasped the woman’s torso, and pulled her up out of the water.

Alan
12:42 PM

Alan’s senses snapped into focus as he watched the woman slip off the second floor balcony and crash into the fountain below. Calmly, but with determination he jumped to his feet and raced towards her. As he ran, the splash of her body formed a ripple in the water. No, not a ripple. He saw it clearly, in his eye and in his mind, as it cascaded outwards, and his bare feet smacked against the tile floor. It was a wave.

He was six years old, and surrounded by people floating in water. His mother was next to him, smiling as Alan lifted his little brother Marcus up into the air. Alan giggled as the artificial waves of the tidal pool lifted the two of them up, and up, and up, and then back down. All of a sudden the waves stopped. An alarm blared and cut through the hum of ambient conversation. Everyone in the pool went silent. Alan bit his finger in tension.

At the far end of the pool there was a loud rumbling noise. Everyone gasped, as a huge wave burst forth. Alan’s mother shrieked and rushed towards him.

“Get the children!” she cried out. “Somebody save the children!”

The wave crashed into them. They bobbed up, and up, and Alan panicked and swallowed water as he felt his brother slip from out of his arms. The moment his feet touched the bottom of the pool, he propelled himself forward. He got to the edge just in time to see Marcus’s head collide with the concrete lip of the pool.

“Somebody help!” Alan yelled. “My brother’s been hurt! Somebody help!”

Alan bent down into the fountain. He grasped the woman’s torso, and pulled her up out of the water.

“It’s a damn good thing you were here,” said the EMT 15 minutes later as her assistant wheeled the woman into the back of the ambulance. “This early, the two of you were practically the only ones in the building.

“Is she going to be alright?” asked Alan.

“She smacked her head pretty good. We’ll check her for a concussion and cerebral hemorrhage, but yeah, I think she’s going to be fine. She swallowed a lot of water. It’s another damn good thing you know CPR.”

“I’ve known it since I was a little kid,” said Alan. “Ever since…”

The EMT raised an eyebrow.

“Never mind,” said Alan. “It isn’t important.”

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Splashform

  1. […] Splashform | Stealing All the Sevens […]

  2. Wow. What story. I like how you wrote it. Thank you.

  3. […] Splashform | Stealing All the Sevens […]

  4. […] Splashform | Stealing All the Sevens […]

I know you have something to say, so say it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s